Readjusting

I have been home now for a few months now, the readjustment to American life hasn't been a challenge but more of an experience. It hit me like a hard slap to the face, je n'habite plus en France. I got off the plane and I instantly wanted to turn right back around and relive the past 10 months. While my mom and her Aunt were visiting, I kept having this bittersweet feeling. It was wonderful seeing my family again, and I was excited to go back to the US. There was a part of me, however, that was dreading the return home. I knew I would be stuck my small town in Edenton. There isn't a single person in Edenton that has the same ambitions as me. I know, that sounds really pompous, but it's true. Half the people in my class are planning on staying in Edenton for the rest of their lives as dentist assistants and have no grand plan for their live. I mean, I'm not judging them or anything, but I DO have plans. I DO plan on getting out of here ASAP. I'm in public school for only 3 months. It's been almost 2 months, and I have noticed the difference between Miller/SYA and JAHHS. There were people at Miller who could'nt cared less about education, who were only there because their parents wanted them out of the house. There were a lot of people who cared though. The people who tried in class out weighed the people who didn't. It's the opposite at JAHHS. I put so much effort into all the work  that the teachers give me. Even my half-assed work is 100 times better than the others. I feel like I'm applying myself too much. I have to get A's this year to prove to colleges that I am a dedicated student. After my appearance in last years grades, my chances of getting in are slim. I need to show them, I am a hard worker.

I just want to go back to France. Actually, at the moment, my goal is Korea. I'm starting to teach myself Korean. After my visit to Seoul, I haven't been able to get the language and culture out of my head. I've been watching kdramas non-stop and listening to only kpop all day. I've found plenty of programs that will get me there and teach me the language. I'm going to be doing one of them as soon as I graduate from the hell hole known as John A Holmes.

I miss all of my friends. I'm used to being alone and only having a few friends. It's different here, all of my old friends have been living their lives since I left. They don't need or want me there. It's strange to try and pick up an old friendship considering I have changed so much and they don't know me anymore. I'm trying to pcik them up, but it's been hard because I'm no longer apart of their community. There is no one at that school that can understand me. I have concluded that I'm just going to get through the year with as little contact as possible. I'm going to be gone soon anyway. There is no point in trying to pick anything back up. They are all wonderful people and it's amazing how much they have grown. They have boyfriends and drive now. These people, who were once my whole world, my best friends, have completely forgotten me an put me into their past.

On a lighter note, I recently applied to universities. I got my first acceptance to American University of Paris. I am thrilled! I could possibly live in France again however I looked up the reviews and it's one of those schools that you go to if your father is the president of a majour company and you have all the new fashion. Atleast I have a fall back plan. A fall back plan in France?! That's not too bad.
I also applied to Korea Univeristy which is basically the Harvard of Korea. It's very prestigious and hard to get into. After a looooonnngg and stressful application process with lots of problems and calls to Korea, I finally sent in the application and had my interview. I should be hearing from them soon. I'm so nervous and excited.

I started this post in August or something... I added the last few paragraphs about college. I'll create another post weighing the pros and cons of going to Korea university. I really need to think about it, it'll be a real challenge.

I guess I could continue this blog in hopes of once again living somewhere different. Plus, it's nice to get some things out in the open. My life has been kind of stressful lately.

That's it.

xx