Future

So, i have officially read 230 pages of Suzanne Collins Hunger Games in French...without a dictionary. I must say, I am very proud of myself. I remember when I started it, it took me 30 minutes to read one page because I was so lost in the vocab and the grammar. I came to the conclusion that it's better to read and only look up the words that seem important, otherwise I'll be finished with the book in 10 years. It helps that I've read it in English, so if I get lost in the grammar, all I have to do is get the gist of the sentence and figure out what's going on.

Moving on...

I am all out of money. I spent all the money I saved up over the summer on my ticket to Korea, so now I'm completely penniless. Luckily, I bought my tickets for February break in November before going to Korea. But, after going to Germany this break, I'm pretty much stuck in Rennes for the next 3 months. We have one break in April and my friend and I want to travel around France because we bought these youth cards for the train that gets us a discount on tickets. However, it's still expensive, I don't know if I'll be able to pull it off. We are just going to have to find REALLY cheap hostels.

I just finished the SAT. 4 and a half hours of my life... I either really failed it, or kinda did. I guess I'll find out when the scores get here... I hate how this one test basically determines my future.

Speaking of futures, I'm so lost at the moment. The year is almost over, and I'm not ready to go back to the States. I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do, and I have aucune idée.... I never realised how scary real life can be, and I'm not even starting it yet. It's like I'm standing on the border between my world and the real world. What I mean is, look at me, I'm a 17 year old girl living in France and I've got the whole world at my disposal. I don't want to restrict myself to following everyone thinks I should be doing. What if I'm not ready to start college? What if I'm not done seeing the world? Sure, there are study abroad programs in college, but they don't normally start until sophomore year. What if I want to do something next year? I feel as though my whole existence revolves around seeing the world. I want to experience the full of it, while I'm young. I want the world to throw me into some sort of amazing adventure.
We are reading Dubliners by James Joyce in English and all of the stories that he has written are basically about dreamers only dreaming. Or seemingly adventurous people being trapped by society. I don't want to be stuck in Dublin forever. I don't want to live vicariously through other people like Little Chandler in Joyce's A Little Cloud. Good story by the way, you should read it!

Not a very cheery blog post, but it's been a stressful month. I'm happy break is coming!

xx